All of half of me.

Mask Assignment

For this assignment we made our own masks with plaster and created an image of our own faces.

I debated on what to do for this assignment. At first I wanted the entire thing to look like a 能(nou-mask), which is a traditional Japanese mask used in plays and showings. However, while contemplating how and what to do, I was drawn to the idea of the mask revealing yet concealing.

A mask is something that people use to express something internal and yet at the same time hide the expression or feeling of one self.
To me this mask was used as a rite of passage. It was a way for me to communicate what is deep within me, yet at the same time hide what is really beneath everything.
Nationality and race is something you receive from your parents. It is not something gained through other ways. I am half American and half Japanese because my mother is American and my father is Japanese. I did not choose specifically such nationality, or randomly become such race. Instead it was given to me, and something I am going to pass down if I ever have children of my own.

What you need to know about...

Real and Ideal Portraits

For the Portrait assignment, we were paired with another person in our class. We were to take a portrait of the other person in hopes to gain a real perspective of the model and either the ideal of the model or an ideal that people place on the model. I took the later approach to this project.

↑ Ideal. When I think of a portrait, this is what I vision in my head. Going to a professional photographer, and have "meaningful" lighting, a beautiful dress, and a prestigious expression. Despite the true identity of the model, if you walk into a photography studio, photos such as the one above are more common to appear on the walls. Society has shaped this into an ideal. This is what I expect and see when I think portraits.

↑ Real. In reality a portrait should be something that portrays the model as is. 

Richard Brilliant proposes that portraits answer dome basic questions about a person:

• What does she look like?

This portrait resembles the person in the picture. She is not having to put on a different persona or even act like someone or something else.
While going about this project, I was able to get to know the model a little more. She told me she loved to write, how she was a English major and enjoyed sitting by a tree and relaxing in God's creation. I did my best to portray "her, " and who is there to know "her" more than the girl herself.

• What is she like?

 Through the portrait you can assume what kind of person she is. I see a out going, yet calm and peaceful girl who loves to write. Going past the surface, but yet use the surface to dig deeper to understand what is going on in this photo, and attempt to find "her."

• Who is she? 

 Social designations, where does one fall in society, what does one do?
To me, she looks child-like. The innocence, and the peacefulness can take the viewer into her worldview. She is not visibly put into some social norm. One cannot tell from this photo of what she does or is, and I believe that just as much adds to the essence of her.


During class we had the opportunity to watch a documentary about Richard Avedon, and how he took many portraits of many different people. He went beyond the stereotype or social norm (much like the first photo) and attempted to take the "real" aspect of each model. The concept was very intriguing. Many times we are too caught up in the way people should or want to view us and we fail to see the "real" person behind the camera. A lens limits what people can see. However, the way Avedon conducted things were not ideal. Forcing an emotion or purposely putting a face unto someone is not pulling out ones true self. It felt a lot like Avedon was doing this.

I contrasted the reality in which socially, people see portraits as the first photo. I would love someone to take me with "meaningful" studio lighting with gorgeous cloths and prestigious expression. However, that is not me.
This topic helped me a lot in a sense that are ideals and reals can be mixed up a lot in our lives, but it is no loss to take a moment to try to find the "real" in the person.

I see You.

A Picture About God

This project focused on the way we perceive God.
The questions that arose were...

How do you picture God?

(Is God male or female? What color is God?)

Should you picture God?

 I grew up in a Christian community and learned about God through the Sunday school way. I visualized though pictures of Jesus as human(like the one below), perceived God as a beam of light and the Holy Spirit as a burning fire. This is how I was taught, and inevitably it was how I pictured God. However, thinking about the question "should you picture God?", I wondered about the morality and rationality behind it.
How is it not right? I have been doing this since I was little and I had no clue what else to do. But what hit me the most was the fact that I had minimal information. I had no idea how big God was and I have been putting him into a small box (or frame in this case) this entire time.
It is not that we should or shouldn't picture God. The truth is that when we picture God, we need to keep in mind that what we are picturing is an aspect of God and not God Himself as a whole.

This photo I took, I believe, accurately portrayed how "I see God." It is always through an object or a reflection of something else. I have yet to succeed in perceiving God as He truly is, because He is too great for me to understand. But as I strive, I grab that mirror, and I look through the window, in hopes of one day seeing God as great as He actually is...

On a much more technical note, we talked a lot about Catacombs and Churches during class period. We focused on how they were built and designed, and also how there were thought out. And because of such structure we were able to see how they perceived God when the such buildings were built.

The Churches that had a tendency to catch my eye were mostly those that had an interesting construction. Rather than the significance of what colors they use, and how they painted the figures onto the walls, the structure spoke in an interesting way, representing how the people perceived God back in the day. 
Many Historical Orthodox Churches have a structure where there is a dome that has a painting of Jesus. At the same time this represents the Christ being high up, it also portrays the meaning of seeing God the father through the son Jesus. When you look up into the dome where Jesus is placed, you are also looking up to the almighty Father through Him.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

KODAMA [木霊]

Earth Works

 

A group project with Rachel Steeves, Kaija Nivala, Anna Ploegman, and Spencer Hees.

(The Earth Works Project was a group project where we paired with one person from class, and 2-3 people from Creativity and Design class.)

Earthworks are engineering works created through the moving or processing of parts of the earth's surface involving quantities of soil or unformed rock. The earth may be moved to another location and formed into a desired shape for a purpose. Wikipedia

For the Project we needed to come up with multiple ideas and contain it into one series.

I was particularly in charge of the Myth/Folk Tale that we needed to come up with, and taking photos/videos on our filed trip day. The photos and videos were referenced by the beginning of the Folk Tale. The idea of the Samurai being a tree and how it is human yet also a spirit especially influenced me. 

Myth/Folk tale: The Tale of the Cedar Tree and His Wife

Long ago in ancient Japan, there lived a fine young servant girl who was hired by a family to babysit their child. This girl eventually befriends a kind samurai (a Japanese soldier). However, no one has even heard or seen this young samurai before. He always came at night to the girls house, and left soon before the sun rises for the morning. No matter how many times the girl asked him what his name was and where he came from, the samurai kept quiet. One night the girl decided to tie a small thread around a needle and stick it into the hem of the samurai’s cloths. After the sun rose she followed the string to see where it would lead her in hopes of figuring out where this samurai was. When she came to the end of the string she spots a giant cedar tree with a needle stuck in the bottom of it. She soon realized that the lovely samurai was the cedar tree all along. Even after finding out that, she was not afraid, for she knew he was a kind spirit. She married the tree spirit and was blessed with children.

Tragedy strikes short after, the giant tree is determined to be too large and is decided among the towns men to be cut down and made into a bridge. Many Lumberjacks were gathered and tried to cut the big cedar down. But no matter how far in they cut, the cedar is completely back to normal the next day. A wise man comes along and tells the townspeople to burn small chips off the cedar. The cedar eventually falls, but when they try to drag it back into town the cedar kept moving back to where it originally was. The townspeople did not know what to do, so they told the cedar’s wife to deal with it. Despite all the sadness she bared for her husband, she put her hand on the cedar and asked “Please will you go into the town,” and at that moment the people had no problem dragging the cedar back into town. The cedar was broken down by the people and made into a bridge. However, night after night the cedar spirit haunted the bridge, and people were too afraid to cross. The wife was called in again and to calm her husband’s spirit she recited a poem, “hems burned, gone to town, a bridge be crossed with flow in the cedar’s swaddling cloths.” and after this the bridge became peaceful and people were able to cross. However, people feared the children of the cedar and wife, for they were part spirit/tree and human, so they took them and murdered them. The wife spends the rest of her life in tears… (the end)

"Humanity has always been intrinsically connected with nature. We are limited by its laws and commanded to subdue and rule over it. In some ways, we are born of it. As a photography and design group, we are going to focus on this link and explore this concept of birth from nature. To accomplish this, we will use meaningful alterations, sculptural forms, and figure in the landscape (explained in more detail below)" -Rachel (group partner)

Other than the Myth/Folk Take, we referenced a lot of a reading we did in class “The Earth as Art.” In the reading there is a discussion about how artist attempt to restore nature and create art that not only states a point/theme but also to create in order to bring about change. Our proposal included the basic ideas of the Myth/Folk Tale (despite the fact that we did not play out the entire story in the project) and the idea of mending the broken earth. We liked the idea of attempting to mend nature, especially as we were unsuccessful in actually accomplishing any sort of healing. 
Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison’s piece below inspired the idea of attempting to mend the earth.

Consumed

 The Spectacle

In class we talked about the spectacle... for quite a while actually.
 We watched the movie Rear Window in class. It was really interesting to think that we place our own views onto others and expect that to be the reality. like so, I really liked thinking about the concept that people tend to think that we are not something when we are and vise-versa.

I photo shopped most of them and others I pulled from other artists who were inspired by Kruger and those done by Kruger herself. this project was a very smooth process for me.

 

Inspired by Barbara Kruger:
I was obviously inspired a lot by Barbara Kruger. The way she tackles how she views the world and what it has become prompted me to take on my own spin on it. Consumerism is what I mainly attempted to focus on. A lot of people progress with the technology and improvements of the world. And most of the time we think nothing of it. Because we are part of it and sometimes we lose ourselves in it.


Walter Brueggemann's 19 Theses:

1.        Everybody lives by a script. The script may be implicit or explicit. It may be recognised or unrecognised, but everybody has a script.

2.        We get scripted. All of us get scripted through the process of nurture and formation and socialisation, and it happens to us without our knowing it.

3.         The dominant scripting in our society is a script of technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism that socialises us all, liberal and conservative.

4.        That script (technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism) enacted through advertising and propaganda and ideology, especially on the liturgies of television, promises to make us safe and to make us happy.

5.        That script has failed. That script of military consumerism cannot make us safe and it cannot make us happy. We may be the unhappiest society in the world.

6.        Health for our society depends upon disengagement from and relinquishment of that script of military consumerism. This is a disengagement and relinquishment that we mostly resist and about which we are profoundly ambiguous.

7.        It is the task of ministry to de-script that script among us. That is, to enable persons to relinquish a world that no longer exists and indeed never did exist.

8.        The task of descripting, relinquishment and disengagement is accomplished by a steady, patient, intentional articulation of an alternative script that we say can make us happy and make us safe.

9.        The alternative script is rooted in the Bible and is enacted through the tradition of the Church. It is an offer of a counter-narrative, counter to the script of technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism.

10.    That alternative script has as its most distinctive feature – its key character – the God of the Bible whom we name as Father, Son, and Spirit.

11.    That script is not monolithic, one dimensional or seamless. It is ragged and disjunctive and incoherent. Partly it is ragged and disjunctive and incoherent because it has been crafted over time by many committees. But it is also ragged and disjunctive and incoherent because the key character is illusive and irascible in freedom and in sovereignty and in hiddenness, and, I’m embarrassed to say, in violence – [a] huge problem for us.

12.    The ragged, disjunctive, and incoherent quality of the counter-script to which we testify cannot be smoothed or made seamless because when we do that the script gets flattened and domesticated and it becomes a weak echo of the dominant script of technological, consumer militarism. Whereas the dominant script of technological, consumer militarism is all about certitude, privilege, and entitlement this counter-script is not about certitude, privilege, and entitlement. Thus care must be taken to let this script be what it is, which entails letting God be God’s irascible self.

13.    The ragged, disjunctive character of the counter-script to which we testify invites its adherents to quarrel among themselves – liberals and conservatives – in ways that detract from the main claims of the script and so to debilitate the focus of the script.

14.    The entry point into the counter-script is baptism. Whereby we say in the old liturgies, “do you renounce the dominant script?”

15.    The nurture, formation, and socialisation into the counter-script with this illusive, irascible character is the work of ministry. We do that work of nurture, formation, and socialisation by the practices of preaching, liturgy, education, social action, spirituality, and neighbouring of all kinds.

16.    Most of us are ambiguous about the script; those with whom we minister and I dare say, those of us who minister. Most of us are not at the deepest places wanting to choose between the dominant script and the counter-script. Most of us in the deep places are vacillating and mumbling in ambivalence.

17.    This ambivalence between scripts is precisely the primary venue for the Spirit, so that ministry is to name and enhance the ambivalence that liberals and conservatives have in common that puts people in crisis and consequently that invokes resistance and hostility.

18.    Ministry is to manage that ambivalence that is crucially present among liberals and conservatives in generative faithful ways in order to permit relinquishment of [the] old script and embrace of the new script.

19.    The work of ministry is crucial and pivotal and indispensable in our society precisely because there is no one except the church and the synagogue to name and evoke the ambivalence and to manage a way through it. I think often I see the mundane day-to-day stuff ministers have to do and I think, my God, what would happen if you took all the ministers out. The role of ministry then is as urgent as it is wondrous and difficult.

society/culture/etc. is pulling us away from scripture and covenant.
just like consumerism, we do not realize that every time we consume something we are also being consumed by the object as well. 

Why Not

Memento Mori


The concept behind "Memento Mori" fascinated me, for I have never really contemplated about death. To see Artists and Photographers establish and imply the idea of death being a definite thing, and our lives could end any minute was intriguing.

The reason behind the black and white was to express my view (after all the thought I gave) on death.  Death, as much as we want it to be a clear "black and white" thing, is often mostly gray.

The title of my work is "why not." I originally had a question mark making it a contemplation on why not to kill yourself. I wanted to portray a character who is contemplating about death. If there is suffering and sin on earth, and all we possess on earth has no meaning, then what is the point of being here? As a Christian, I believe I am going to heaven through the mercy of God. Heaven is said to be the most wonderful place. I rather go there than sit here through the darkness of the world being tempted by Satan and suffering through the pain... If I take my own life I will be able to go to such wonderful place and escape this world I am present in... I wanted to convey such contemplation. But in the end after much thought and discussion with my teacher, my eyes were opened to the aspect of "why not" to die. the reason not to take your own life. God has created us for a purpose. The realization of that, I think, is implied in the last photo. Yes there are hard times and sorrows in our current world, but nothing is to die for. there is much more meaning to live life for God, than to die to go to Heaven.

Ecclesiastes 1.
1	The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2	Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
3	What profit hath a man of all his labor which he taketh under the sun?
4	One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.
5	The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.
6	The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.
7	All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full: unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.
8	All things are full of labor; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
9	The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
10	Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.
11	There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

This is said to remind us that ultimately everything is God's. And all we own and achieve mean nothing unless stored in Heaven... We as people are not a vanity. God made us for a wonderful purpose and meaning.

The photos portray means to kill yourself, but ultimately she does not die, because of such realization.

P.S.
Please note that in no way, shape, or form am I promoting suicide or the thought of it.
God loves us very much and there is a reason for each and every one of us to be here and present on earth, and that is not to take our own lives. 

Mirror...

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Look in the mirror. What do you see?

You look at yourself differently when looking at a mirror; with a different purpose, and perspective. You may look at a mirror to see if you have spinach stuck between your teeth, or just to check out your six pack. Some see themselves as over weight, too skinny, or even might be perfectly fine with just the way they are. Your eyes work as a finder, a sort of lens, that blocks you from seeing everything else or widening your eyes to see what you can't regularly.

My concept "mirror, mirror on the wall..." derived from the question "what does the body mean?" The body is something different to everyone. Many people go about their days thinking about how they look and how others view them. Whereas when they face a mirror it is only about how they see themselves. Some intentionally view themselves by judging their body size or shape. By doing so they are putting their own meaning to the body. On the other hand, some may unintentionally see their body with a filter in the mirror, such occurs when brushing their teeth or combing their hair. People do such daily activities while looking in the mirror because they may not see where they're brushing or combing and they need to get every spot. What is usually not recognized is the fact that this too gives a meaning to the body, by being something that needs to be maintained and or cared for.

But, If we have so many ways to view it (intentionally and unintentionally), how do we know what is to be true about our body, and how will we ever find out the meaning of all of it? 

While asking this question to myself, I was inspired by photographer, Cindy Sherman. Her photos deal with the body and identity; how we as well as others see ourselves. Although her photos are different than mine, I was inspired by her way of capturing the self. At a time period when people's views are distorted by technology and media, a simple mirror helps reflect one's image upon a surface. All you need to do is pay attention a little bit more. Sherman sees the identity given off by image and accurately portrays each "individual" as is. 

The body shows who you are in many ways. Especially when no one is looking, you are able to see yourself with a lens of truth (through the mirror). The mirror projects exactly the way you are with no one's opinion or view. How you conceive that it is all up to you, and this is what relates to your identity; the way you see yourself.

"Lost and Lost"

Getting Lost

This was a concept that seemed easy to do in the beginning. however, the more I tried to get lost the less I actually was. The more I think, the less I saw, and the more I tried to see, the less of "me" would show in the photographs. I was striving to not be consciously lost. I found myself trying so hard, that it only made me realize that I was conscious of my "lost-ness".

I was able to get lost in myself when I met the cleaning lady at the Garfield Park Conservatory. She casually talked to me as I nodded along, and laughed at her jokes. Some might argue that I am not lost if I am communicating with others. But, she was an unknown to me. I still do not know her after talking to her for some time, and if you were to ask me what her name was I would not be able to tell you. This triggered me, in a way of letting go of the facts and security I was holding on to. It prompted me to take photos in the way I see it with my lost eyes. Not for a project, not for a class, but for me.

"To lose yourself: a voluptuous surrender, lost in your arms, lost to the world, utterly immersed in what is present so that its surroundings fade away. In Benjamin's terms, to be lost is to be fully present, and to be fully present is to be capable of being in uncertainty and mystery. And one does not get lost but loses one- self, with the implication that it is a conscious choice, a chosen surrender, a psychic state achievable through geography." -Rebecca Solnit

Through my experience at the Conservatory, I was able to see a different part of nature and a different part of me. I found my "lost-ness". The title comes from me being lost, and not found, but lost again.

the sequence in which these photos are placed have a significance. I attempted to avoid having similar photos together, yet at the same time tried to make the viewer feel the slight commonality that exists with each photo that comes after. The black and white tie everything together, but there also was a reason for the last photo to be different. It is colored, since it was a self portrait, I was trying to convey my "lost-ness" within the photo as well. I hope to convey the abstractness, and the vagueness that it is not a photo of me directly but through a lens and a glass. The color is slightly faded, yet very distinctive compared to the others. I wish for viewers to get lost through me in each photo. 

Concepts:

Art and Fantasy:
I wish time will freeze, and stay still. This photo was taken out of my fantasy to see what I cannot with my bare eyes, and feel that motion in stopped time. 
I fantasize to escape from the real world. I want to be in my own world and do my own things. This is evident in my photos. The Black and White give a sense of an unrealistic world, which only contains darkness and light and nothing else. 

Most of the photos are the way I want to view things rather than the actual object as itself. From still water, to the contrast of light and shadow.

Art, Order, and Harmony:

My photos are of nature, which contains order and harmony. From the small lines of leaves, to each shape of a petal. Order brings familiarity to the eye, some may see it in a soothing way, yet others
may see the structure and question if it is nature or something man made.
The Black and White emphasize the stillness of each photo. Then the viewer is able to feel the calmness and harmonize with oneself.

Art and Glory/Religion:

God's creation is amazing. He has created each and everything I have photographed. In His view and vision. Being able to shoot this in stop motion, was an experience within itself. I am not a professional photographer, nor a skilled one that can take anything that I wish. However, because God created everything in my photos, they become beautifully and amazing.
I take each photo and look at it and awe for my Lord fills my heart.