"Lost and Lost"

Getting Lost

This was a concept that seemed easy to do in the beginning. however, the more I tried to get lost the less I actually was. The more I think, the less I saw, and the more I tried to see, the less of "me" would show in the photographs. I was striving to not be consciously lost. I found myself trying so hard, that it only made me realize that I was conscious of my "lost-ness".

I was able to get lost in myself when I met the cleaning lady at the Garfield Park Conservatory. She casually talked to me as I nodded along, and laughed at her jokes. Some might argue that I am not lost if I am communicating with others. But, she was an unknown to me. I still do not know her after talking to her for some time, and if you were to ask me what her name was I would not be able to tell you. This triggered me, in a way of letting go of the facts and security I was holding on to. It prompted me to take photos in the way I see it with my lost eyes. Not for a project, not for a class, but for me.

"To lose yourself: a voluptuous surrender, lost in your arms, lost to the world, utterly immersed in what is present so that its surroundings fade away. In Benjamin's terms, to be lost is to be fully present, and to be fully present is to be capable of being in uncertainty and mystery. And one does not get lost but loses one- self, with the implication that it is a conscious choice, a chosen surrender, a psychic state achievable through geography." -Rebecca Solnit

Through my experience at the Conservatory, I was able to see a different part of nature and a different part of me. I found my "lost-ness". The title comes from me being lost, and not found, but lost again.

the sequence in which these photos are placed have a significance. I attempted to avoid having similar photos together, yet at the same time tried to make the viewer feel the slight commonality that exists with each photo that comes after. The black and white tie everything together, but there also was a reason for the last photo to be different. It is colored, since it was a self portrait, I was trying to convey my "lost-ness" within the photo as well. I hope to convey the abstractness, and the vagueness that it is not a photo of me directly but through a lens and a glass. The color is slightly faded, yet very distinctive compared to the others. I wish for viewers to get lost through me in each photo. 

Concepts:

Art and Fantasy:
I wish time will freeze, and stay still. This photo was taken out of my fantasy to see what I cannot with my bare eyes, and feel that motion in stopped time. 
I fantasize to escape from the real world. I want to be in my own world and do my own things. This is evident in my photos. The Black and White give a sense of an unrealistic world, which only contains darkness and light and nothing else. 

Most of the photos are the way I want to view things rather than the actual object as itself. From still water, to the contrast of light and shadow.

Art, Order, and Harmony:

My photos are of nature, which contains order and harmony. From the small lines of leaves, to each shape of a petal. Order brings familiarity to the eye, some may see it in a soothing way, yet others
may see the structure and question if it is nature or something man made.
The Black and White emphasize the stillness of each photo. Then the viewer is able to feel the calmness and harmonize with oneself.

Art and Glory/Religion:

God's creation is amazing. He has created each and everything I have photographed. In His view and vision. Being able to shoot this in stop motion, was an experience within itself. I am not a professional photographer, nor a skilled one that can take anything that I wish. However, because God created everything in my photos, they become beautifully and amazing.
I take each photo and look at it and awe for my Lord fills my heart.